Things have gotten a lot better, besides the fact that it’s snowing. The trains run while it’s snowing, right? Let’s hope. But everything is getting better. Actually, I should say everything has gotten better. My car is covered in snow and I do have to start getting ready to depart, but I don’t really care. This is probably the happiest I have been in a really long time and I hope this doesn’t change.
I’m not saying sex. I don’t need that. I’m saying staying up reading kindergarten books with you, not necessarily reading them, but reminscing on how we used to love reading these over and over, especially the ones where you can feel the dog’s fur and the alligator’s scales. I’m saying playing card games and boardgames. Watching you make the most adorable faces at me and sticking your tongue out everytime you win and saying psh, I just let you win everytime I do. I’m saying making handshadows on the wall. Laying a flashlight on the floor and making our hand puppets pretend to eat each other. I’m saying popping a good CD or putting your ipod on the ihome while we just lay there drawing pictures with our fingers in the air. I’m saying finger food. Getting all the fruits, crackers, chips, and candy from the kitchen, blindfolding me, and telling me you’re going to feed me a strawberry and you put a lemon in my mouth. I’m saying looking at pictures. Going through albums of when we were babies and what our parents looked like in high school. I’m saying star gazing. Opening the curtains and letting the moon be the only source of light in the room. Pointing out constellations and naming stars after one another. I’m saying prank calls. Laying down next to each other, on our stomachs, looking through yellowpages, and practicing our British, Indian, or Asian accents before we dial the number. I’m saying just maxing. Snuggling next to each other, letting our bodies touch as if we’re about to dance the tango. Our chests are glued to one another and our arms and legs are interlaced. I’m not saying sex. I don’t need that.
_____, it’s just…she really hurt me. She just up and stopped talking to me and gave me no reason and before that she wasn’t inviting me places and she still talks to everyone around me just like _____ did/does and it hurts to know that I had friendships with people who just seem to forget about me so easily and move on like they never knew me. And it kills me that _____ and _____ are still best friends considering if it hadn’t been for me, they wouldn’t really know each other. She just really hurt me and didn’t even have the decency to tell me why so my philosophy has changed from “I really want to try to work this out” to “Fuck you. You hurt me for no reason and I’m sick of your bullshit”, though I’d never say that to her. I’m just sick of all this drama and childish behavior and I’m over it. _____, you are one of my best friends and I wouldn’t want you to ruin a friendship with her because of our “fight” if you could even call it that. So I’m sorry for being angry and upset. She just does it to me and I can’t stand it anymore.