February 2012
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The fake MacGruber and I are STILL talking.
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The funny thing about this MacGruber Twitter account is that whoever runs it retweets lots of people but particularly enjoys talking to me.
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Why am I talking to this fake MacGruber account? Probably because I wish he was real.
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Because I’m not good at writing sexy things or saying sexy things I will never “taste (MacGruber’s) python’s sweet nectare”. He said that.
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Just saw a commercial for Great Britain and I said “Damn commercial making me sad” and my mom said “Marlee, you’re not supposed to be there. You’re supposed to be going to school in Manhattan”. Living the dream.
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I’m watching M*A*S*H with my parents and I just said “Alan Alda was so handsome” and my mom looked at me funny.
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My dad bought Americone Dream AND Late Night Snack.
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Things my parents just said to me about men I find attractive:
My mom: “You only like guys like Will Forte”
My dad: “Marlee, you wouldn’t know a cute guy if he tripped over you”
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Drunk RIck Perry
ladolcebrianna:
Hola Seth!
Watched this earlier! “It’s Aloha”
ladolcebrianna said: I applaud you and your excellent taste buds.
Thank you! My mom called me a weirdo for it but then I remembered Donald Glover is a weirdo so I’m OK with that.
ladolcebrianna said: is that beer and a donut? Also, the paper plate is a nice classy touch.
Yes and yes it is.
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Something my ex boyfriend said to me a long time ago and I’m just remembering it now:
“When we met I wasn’t interested in you at all. I liked Megan (my friend) because she’s so hot. But now I only have eyes for you, babe”
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My friend’s current Facebook status is “I have a wonderful boyfriend” and I just posted a picture of Napolean Dynamite that says “Well no one’s gonna go out with me” and I captioned it “This is actually me”
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Something I just said to my brother:
“Holy hamburgers, Batman! I’m stuck in your buns!”
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